Anonymous suggested in a DM on my Detox Diet post that I’m detoxing because I feel guilty about eating the muffin, so I want to make myself suffer. Now, this is an exciting thought, and I felt like exploring.
Guilt — yes! I do feel guilty.
I felt guilty about not riding last Sunday because it was raining, and I couldn’t muster the motivation to get on the rollers.
I also feel guilty that I took a baby sparrow from its nest almost thirty days ago and brought it home. I lied to my parents that it must have fallen out of its nest and that I had found it in the grass, abandoned. I so wanted a pet, and little did I know that I wouldn’t be able to keep up collecting little worms to keep it alive.
I cried a lot when the little bird died. There are some hearts I carelessly broke in my student days, and I feel guilty about that (a little … maybe), and guilt is definitely a constant feeling when I think of my parents some 12,000 km away (I am in Canada and my parents are in India)…
It is correct that I make myself suffer quite a bit (when I’m well enough), and if you are a competitive cyclist, you’ll be with me on this one.
If I wouldn’t make myself suffer in intensive training sessions, then others will make me suffer in races (more often than they do already anyway).
Since I prefer dishing out the suffering, and I’m sure I’m not alone on this one, I do things that mean suffering and sacrifice.
So for the record: Those who know me will confirm that I rarely feel guilty about eating, and I eat a lot.
I didn’t feel guilty about eating the muffin. In fact, I ate six and a half muffins that weekend because Alberto shared his last muffin with me and — nope — no guilty feelings there.
I also don’t do the detox to lose weight. Hell no, I’ve been at race weight since Christmas, and I’m not even racing!
I figured that I could only try and experiment and do what felt appropriate with the bit of reliable knowledge available. I…